To Say or Not to Say..."The Word"

That is the question for some.

I really don't understand the fascination of people wanting to say any version of the n-word (the word). I've had conversations with 2 different people who have either stated or been excited that they were taught how to say the word and it would be ok.

Conversation #1: A white female co-worker, who I had been working with for some time, was talking to a group of co-workers about a situation that happened with a black male co-worker. Apparently, he was annoying her because he was complaining and kept mouthing "the word" instead of saying it. She said that she asked him, "Why won't you just say the word out loud? My husband is black and my kids are black. So, I can say the word." I politely tapped her on her hand and said, "No boo, you cannot." She and everyone else became very quiet in that conversation.

Conversation #2: A white female co-worker went to lunch with some black co-workers. When she came back, she came to me and excitedly said, "I learned a new word today." Then, she told me that she went to lunch with a few co-workers. The woman who was driving had the music on and everyone was singing the songs. She was not singing because she did not know the songs. However, the co-workers decided to teach her the songs. She stated that when it came to "that word" she didn't want to say it. However, the co-workers encouraged her and taught her how to say it. She was so happy that she was able to say that word, but I kindly killed her joy by saying, "It is never okay for you to say that word. If anyone else hears you saying that word, they will go to HR and you will probably be fired. Also, you might want to stop going to lunch with the people you went with." I also explained to her why she should never say that word. I believe she understood my point, but I don't know if she said that word after that day.

Being in these situations made me realize 2 things. 1. There are people who give people the okay to say a negative word without telling them the consequences. 2. There are people who honestly believe that is okay for them to say the word and are shocked when people have a problem with it.

Just because one person tells you that you can, does not mean you should. You are a grown person.